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Retracing The Steps

Each and every one of us has a way of Ministering to people, you can call it making an impact in someone else’s life. That which lies deep in your Soul, that passion you have for whatever thing it is, that which makes you get chills every time you hear or think about it, not because it’s toxic or anything, but because it has a special place in your Heart (just like the ‘goose-bumps’ we feel when we’re attracted to someone, you relate? Those kind of chills…lol).

I dream a lot, and some of those dreams come true. A few years back, I learnt that it’s good to embrace only the good in the dream (sometimes the good will mix with the bad), and cover it with prayers and to cancel the bad. Before that, I used to let the dreams take their course, the good and the not so good ones. So what happens when I don’t understand if it’s a good one or a bad one (it can be confusing at times)? I pray about it and ask the Lord to let His will be done.

Last night I dreamt, I know I did, but I can’t remember what I dreamt about. It happens. I remember I once shared a dream I had with a friend, and at the end of the conversation I asked him whether he dreams, and he said he doesn’t. I was like, “How come?” and he said “Just like that”. I didn’t ask any more questions. I think we all dream, it’s just that some remember the dreams while others don’t, totally. In my case I dream every single night, can you imagine, and sometimes I’m tempted to doubt whether it’s normal.

I read somewhere that everyone dreams. Laboratory studies have shown that we experience our most vivid dreams during a type of sleep called Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. During REM sleep the brain is very active, the eyes move back and forth rapidly under the lids, and the large muscles of the body are relaxed. In my understanding, this means that if we fail to have the vivid (clear) dreams, we will have alternatives (the not so clear ones), and these are the ones that we often don’t recall when we wake up, but today I want to talk about the other ‘DREAMS’ that we live for.

I believe and I am convinced without a shadow of a doubt that every Vision and Dream we’ve always had (well, since we knew ourselves), came from the Lord, it originated from Him. He is the one who deposited it into our hearts. It can be that it was conceptualized from a very tender age or when we’re already adults. Like for me, I always wanted to be a Journalist, from the age of 4. I had a nose for News…hehe :-) . I wanted to know every little and big thing that happened around me and report about it. I was (and still is) very curious. I remember one time when we were living in our rural place (by the way, I’m not a born-tow, lol!). It was in the evening and we heard some noise coming from the road, just behind our home. It sounded like a scuffle or something close to that, and as usual, I felt eager to run outside and see what was happening, but because I knew Mom wouldn’t agree to it as no one knew what was really going on, plus darkness was setting in, I couldn’t go. She knew that I loved such stuff, you know, being where there’s something going on, something news-worthy, and so she asked me (in Kyuk though), “Philomenah, how comes you aren’t interested in going to see what’s happening outside, and come and give us the news?” Then I asked her if she really wanted me to go, and she gave me a ‘Yes’, but added that I should be careful. I actually ran to where the scene, only to find some drunken men fighting over cash (if my memory ain’t playing tricks on me), but it was still something worth watching, and listening to.

My every being still wanted to pursue the dream of being an Anchor/News Reporter, but I’m not sure what happens when one advances with age (or is it the mind) because after primary school and onto high school, in form 2 to be precise, a dream-change occurred, boom!, and this time I wanted to become a Lawyer instead. What caused this? Something happened in our family where a relative was accused of going against the law, and because we were sure he was innocent, it triggered me to pursue law, you know, so that I could defend my own (call it shallowness…lol!). Following the new developments in my dreams, I choose the subjects that went in line with Law, talk of History, English, Swahili, CRE, and the good thing about it is that I was good in these subjects, really good (self-praise ???? ). That was a plus, so I thought. On completing my A’ Levels, shock on me. My Grades weren’t good enough to pursue law, though I had done well in the above subjects. I think I ignored the rest (Sciences mostly). I wasn’t sure what to do now that my ‘new dream’ of coming a lawyer was slowly fading away. There was an option though, of upgrading the subjects I hadn’t performed well and perhaps become a Paralegal (a Legal Assistant aka Lawyer’s Secretary), and later on join the University for a Degree in Law.

The thought of going back to class, which was to be immediately after forth form wasn’t coming, for real. I think I didn’t want Law bad enough, and so I never upgraded. As time went by, I found myself in a state of indecision, where a part of me is still feeling the ‘Law’, and the other is feeling something different which I couldn’t figure out what it was. In the meantime I get to enroll for Computer and Driving Courses. A year or so later (still weighing what to take and what to leave out), a rare opportunity comes along, I fly to Dubai (that’s definitely a story for another day, trust me) and come back after 1 1/2years. I still didn’t have a tangible course at this time but during that period of being away, I had done some soul searching and decided to pursue Journalism. It was clear within me that this is what I wanted. I was sure about it, and so I looked for a School, enrolled, graduated with an ‘A’ ???? , and now I’m on my way to where I want to be. Sijafika (I haven’t arrived).

I’ve given us my story above to show that what God has put in the inside of us, that seed of greatness, will never die, it can’t die. When I was thinking about this article yesterday, what Stroke me is that yes, we have these BIG DREAMS that we will do anything to see come to pass, but the Question that most of us ask is why they take an uncomfortably long time to be accomplished, and it dawned on me that the reason why it is so, is because we regard the dreams as our own entity, like we came up with the ‘idea’, they are ours, it’s our game and so we don’t need any play-mates or anyone to interfere. We tend to forget that these Dreams and Visions aren’t ours to own, but they’ve been entrusted to us by God, all for His Glory. They define our purpose, our reason for living. If I may say this right now, it’s not and it’s never about us, but it’s all about Him. So when we do that (forget that it’s about God) and we kinda push Him aside, He lets us be and watches how we‘re going to pull it off. There’s nothing as dangerous as that: When God lets you be, or when He’s not going with you. Yesterday I was listening to John Carson and he said that God cannot force His will in us, He can’t. Yes, He is very patient with us and gives us time to come to our senses and accept His will for us, but He won’t force it on us.

Where you are right now and what you’re doing, at this minute, is it what you want to do, for the rest of your life? Are you happy where you are, and is it where God wants you to be? If not, where do you think the problem is? I have Dreams and Visions that I really want to see come to pass. Some have already, others haven’t, and sometimes I think they’re taking much longer than they should (according to me). I’ll admit here and say that with time, some of them (Dreams) don’t feel the way they felt the first time, they aren’t as real and clear, they’ve died a little. The passion and oomph that was there initially about them has faded into something not so pleasing, and it’s not a very good thing. It made me think, and think hard of why some are taking ages to come to life (in my life and the lives of the people around me).

It’s 2016, and what you thought you would accomplish in 2015, or in the last 5-10 years you still haven’t, and you don’t understand why. You’ve tried, and still are trying; to do all you know how to bring that Dream, that Vision to life. Could the reason why you don’t feel your Dream anymore be because you’ve taken center stage, as the founder, the CEO, the Boss of that Dream? Could it be that you’re doing it with your own strength, power, ability, knowledge, wisdom and understanding? Could it be that you subtracted God from the equation of achieving it (well, coz it’s ONLY yours)?

I will take us to the story of Ezekiel and the Dry Bones. It’s found in Ezekiel 37:1-10, and we’re told of how God took him to the Valley of the Dry Bones, and asked him whether the bones could live, and Ezekiel was wise enough to reply and say, “O Lord God, You know”. Look at what happened next. God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the dry bones so that they could come back to life. You want to tell me that God wasn’t able to do that by Himself, like speak to the bones and command them to come back to life? Of course He could, but instead, He told Ezekiel to do it. This means that we have the power and authority (we’ve been given) to prophesy into our dead situations to come to life, again!

We see Ezekiel obeying and went ahead and prophesied to them, and they came back to life, in V.7 “So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a [thundering] noise, and behold, a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to its bone”. The mission wasn’t accomplished yet as the bones were breathless. Again God told him to command breath to come from the four winds (in this case meaning the four corners of the Erath: North, South, East and West, but it can also mean Spirits). V.10 says, “So I prophesied as He commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they came to life and stood up on their feet, an exceedingly great army.”

We can have our Dreams back, and it doesn’t matter whether they’re dead already or on the verge of death, but they can come to life, again. They have to. It’s about time that we realized it’s not about us, that we are only carriers of these Dreams and Visions (Purpose). It’s about time that we dropped all we think we know about our destiny and went back to the Source, the Source of Life, the Source of our Dreams, who is God, and asked Him to take back the wheel, listen to Him as He gives the directions and we obey.

John 15:16 (from where our Theme for 2016 comes from), says that, “You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed and placed and purposefully planted you, so that you would go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit will remain and be lasting, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name [as My representative] He may give to you”, and as our Reverend (Julian Kyula) told us on Sunday that sometimes what we’ve been chosen for won’t choose us. How is that? It’s when things don’t seem to work out, when we think we’re not bearing any ‘fruits’ and we start doubting our calling, thus we have to stay connected to Him, who chose us, who called us. He who began a good work in us (our Dreams), is faithful enough to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

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